dailysexscoop.com

My name is Sarah, and I'm a sex addict. No, wait.

My name is Sarah. I've spent over ten years of my life working as a stripper, a fetish model, a dominatrix, and a porn performer. I'm the author of two published books, countless articles, and several nasty porn stories (one of which will be appearing in the upcoming book "F*cking Daphne:  Mostly True Stories and Fictions" [Seal Press, May 2008]). I'm a lover and a fighter. I'm a feminist rabble-rouser, a social critic, and a curmudgeon. I'm a registered counselor in Washington State. Basically, I'm the Stripper Next Door—a nice girl who's kept her portfolio diverse.

I'm also a sex addict. It's not that I'm hooked on certain acts or situations: I'm addicted to sexual knowledge, driven by the need to understand what makes us wet and hard. After a decade in the adult industry, if I haven't performed a particular erotic act for love or money, I've worked with folks who have. (You can still see my asshole on the Internet for free, should you be tempted to check my credentials. Mine's the one with the freckle.)

I've spent a lifetime amassing information about sex, love, relationships, and the things that get us off. So when I was asked to do this column, I jumped at the chance to learn even more about my chosen field. I want to know what you want to know. I want to talk about sex with you—what you like, what you don't like, what you can't do without, what you think is gross, and what you've always wanted to try. Sexually, there are very few acts I won't discuss (and most of those have to do with children, animals, and other creatures unable to give valid consent). So bring it on—and remember, I change everyone's name so it's not like your boss is going to know you can only come when you're sucking someone's toes and humming "La Marseillaise."

In return, I promise to tell you the truth. If I think you're screwed up, I'll give it to you straight, with or without a firm paddling—that's up to you. (Hey, you can take the domme out of the dungeon…) I promise not to sugar-coat. I promise not to judge. And finally, I promise to do my level best to provide reliable information you can actually use to freshen up your sex life, whether I'm giving you a step-by-step tutorial or just my honest opinion. The one thing I'll never do is fake it.

All right—all the disclaimers are out of the way. You know who I am and I'm looking forward to meeting you, so let's slip into something a little more comfortable and get this party started.

Email your burning questions to me at This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it .

My wife and I have both read a lot about SM. We’ve experimented with some light bondage and role-playing, but we’re ready to try some more advanced stuff. However, it seems so expensive to buy all the SM gear we read about: leather whips, slings, cages, clothing, etc. Do you have any suggestions for us?
--Curious in the Show-Me State

First of all, Curious, congratulations for expanding your romantic horizons! Many married people are content to bore themselves silly doing the same old thing a couple of times a week. It takes courage and imagination to consciously decide to increase your erotic repertoire, and for that I applaud you!

Now: as far as investing in "leather whips, slings, cages, clothing, etc.," I can tell you there are a number of options. For one, every well-stocked hardware store in the world has the following items:

*  Duct tape. As every Jersey mobster knows, taping over someone's mouth prevents them from speaking or moaning. Make sure your partner consents to this (some people really can't tolerate being gagged), and make sure she can breathe freely through the nose—cold/flu season may not be the best time for this kind of play.
You can also use duct tape to bind her wrists, ankles, and knees together. Try taping her to a chair in a seated position, with her ankles spread and her hands taped behind her back. Voila—instant access to her lady-parts, and not a damn thing she can do about it! 
Have scissors nearby in case you need to release her in a hurry, and check the bonds often to make sure they’re not cutting off her circulation.

*  Pantyhose or stockings. Cut-off pantyhose legs make excellent, non-chafing ropes for bondage. Since they’re stretchy, they’re good for beginners—again, just be sure to have some scissors handy for a quick release. You can also use a cut-off pantyhose leg as a blindfold. Or, slide one over your head and role-play a convenience store robbery—whatever floats your boat.

*  Clothespins. These old-fashioned items are good for clamping nipples, labia, your scrotum, the sensitive area under the head of your cock, tongues, earlobes, etc.  Just let your imagination run wild—if it sticks out, you can clamp it. Clothespins may feel a little painful at first, but if you leave them on the initial ouch will recede and be replaced by a duller, warmer sensation that some pervs find extremely arousing. Don’t leave them on any longer then fifteen minutes to start, and bear in mind that when they’re removed, the formerly clamped area can be a little sensitive as the blood flows back into the skin.

*  Latex gloves. Play Doctor and probe her most intimate areas while your hands are sheathed in latex. A little lube is usually polite. Use KY Jelly to add to the "clinical" vibe.

*  Paint stirrers. You know those wooden sticks the hardware store guys use to stir the big cans of paint? Well, get a bunch of them if you can. They make great spanking implements. You can start out very lightly, and increase your force as your sweetie desires. Don’t hit too hard, though, or you’ll break the stirrer and welt her skin, which is no fun for anyone. You can spank all the fleshy areas of her body—breasts, buttocks, and the backs of the upper thighs—but stay away from all bony and unprotected areas, especially her spinal column and kidneys. Think tapping, not beating:  the fun of paint stirrers is in their cumulative burn, not in a single hard whack.

These are just a few ideas to get you started, Curious. Have fun scoping out Home Depot for more naughty multi-use items! If you exercise a little imagination, hot BDSM play may not be free, but it can come awfully cheap.