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A Beginner’s Guide to Bondage |
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Written by Millard Fillmore
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Tuesday, 17 July 2007 |
 Want to try something new? Tie your partner’s hands when you make love tonight. Secret fantasies may emerge.
Lots of people are curious about bondage. The heightened power exchange can be exciting and pleasurable to both partners. Bondage in its simplest form means restraining your partner in some way. There’s lots of bondage sex toys to get you started. You may use silk ties, paper cuffs fastened with tape, fur-lined handcuffs, rope, cord or chains. The imagery of bondage, seeing your partner restrained and open to you is a powerful stimulus.
Bondage beginners should keep in mind that allowing someone to tie one up is an act of trust. Since bondage depends on that essential trust, it’s a good idea to come up with a “safe” word that means “stop immediately.” You may feel your trust is such that you don’t need a safe word, but it can’t do any harm to have one. Sometimes you just get your wrist or foot twisted wrong, even when your partner is not exceeding your limits.
Bondage and fantasy go hand in hand. Often, people enjoy switching roles from their daily lives. Dominant, powerful men can relax giving into being tied to a bed and under the control of a woman. Women who are soft-spoken and shy may come alive taking sexual control of a partner cuffed and blindfolded. Or visa versa.
Blindfolding your partner adds another dimension to any restraint. It spices up any encounter and is itself a type of bondage, but it’s even more fun if hands are tied or cuffed.
Some advice for beginners:
Take turns. Tie each other up. See if one of you is a natural “top” or “bottom.” The “top” is the dominant partner who ties up the other, who is the “bottom.” Getting a feel for both sides of this sexual equation is a good idea in any event. People who live this as a lifestyle will sometimes “switch” so they better understand the feelings and interactions from the other point of view.
That may be the biggest secret in bondage: whichever role you play, you have to get into the other person’s head to make bondage scenarios work.
Whatever you do, exercise common sense. It’s not a great idea to experiment with bondage with strangers or in unfamiliar places.
And when the scene is over, you might enjoy spending some quiet time together slowly coming back to earth.
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Millard Fillmore |
| About the author: |
| Millard Fillmore is a fulltime professional writer who specializes in business, science and technology—the hard stuff that pays well. As a freelancer his work has appeared in Playboy, Penthouse, OMNI and dozens of other national magazine, four books, and literally thousands of articles for Web sites. A former fulltime daily newspaper reporter, he also founded two city magazines and has written widely about film, food, music, and other lifestyle topics. He is single and admits to a taste for group encounters and the slightly kinky, although he also enjoys intense one-on-one relationships.
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