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Strip clubs sometimes resemble private Catholic schools, judging from the number of plaid skirts and knee socks on display. Every stripper owns a few schoolgirl costumes. Why? They're a sure-fire way to generate big tips and repeat customers. At home or in the club, it's amazing at how much heat a pair of knee socks can generate.

And you don't have to be a nymphet to rock the schoolgirl. Start with your hair: loose or braided, pigtails are the classic choice. Ribbons are a nice touch (available by the yard at any fabric store). If you're sporting a sophisticated cropped 'do, clip your bangs back with plastic barrettes. Keep it casual: skip the hairspray. Keep your makeup light as well—a successful schoolgirl is innocent and playful, not worldly and seductive.

Socks make the schoolgirl, so buy an inexpensive pair of anklets, knee socks, or over-the-knee tights. White is standard, cable-knit adds realism, and stripes can be funky. Experiment—just remember to keep 'em on when you're naked!

An abbreviated plaid kilt is archetypal, but any short, pleated skirt will do. (A modest skirt can become cheerleader-short if you imitate my schoolmates at St. Therese's: roll your skirt at the waist, or simply tape up the hem.) Add a big safety pin and voila, you're jailbait!

The schoolgirl look flatters nearly every body type because it's crisp, feminine, and flirtatious. So don't be scared to go old-school: pigtails and a kilt are a smokin' hot way to tell your lover you're ready to earn an A+ in Sex Ed. You naughty, naughty girl!