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When it comes to sex, is it better to be a guy or a girl? I talked it over via Instant Messenger with my husband. 

Kathleen: Let me start off by saying that I came up with this topic because I've always wondered what it’s like to be a man.

John: Really?

Kathleen: I remember I once asked you what it was like to have a penis. You never gave me a good answer.

John: Oh - well, how can I say what it's like? I've always had one.

Kathleen: But even with that lack of knowledge (what it's like to be a man), I'd guess it's better to be a woman.

John: why?

Kathleen: Because we can have multiple orgasms

John: True...but I get to come inside you

Kathleen: What's so great about that?

John: I get to make you all messy.

Kathleen: And that makes you happy?

John: Well, yeah. Maybe it's why men like to pee in the snow, or break stuff — it's fun to make a big mess.

Kathleen: I remember reading a study in my psych 101 class that boys like to knock down towers of blocks — girls, not really.

John: But I don't think it's better to be a man, necessarily…

Kathleen: Why do you say that?

John: Because there are just different roles. The woman receives. The man gives. That is, I mean, biologically speaking.

Kathleen: I never looked at it that way

John: I also have an urge to dominate.

Kathleen: Me, not so much

John: There you go. So do you want to be taken?  Dominated?

Kathleen: In bed? Yeah, that's a turn-on —  but not all the time.

John: How much of the time?

Kathleen: Hard to give a percent — I'd just say that it is one flavor that can be enjoyable.

John: I can only speak for myself.

Kathleen: Of course.

John: But I tend to be aggressive and dominant.

Kathleen: But do you like to be dominated yourself?

John: hmmm.... Not so much

Kathleen: Never?

John: Well, it would depend. If it was you, I wouldn't be worried. But truly being dominated, where I'd lose control, is not interesting.

Kathleen: Not interesting? ... or scary to you

John: Well, it doesn't turn me on, it just is frightening

Kathleen: So you seem to feel you are almost programmed to be the “giver.”  But there do seem to be some advantages to being a guy. For example, you can pretty much count on the fact that you will have an orgasm.

John: That's true...it's a given.

Kathleen: Men also seem to have an easier time getting in the mood.

John: Yeah - biologically it's different.

Kathleen: The turn on/turn off switch is less complex.

John: Women need something more than "let's fuck."

Kathleen: That’s for sure.

John: I don't need much.

Kathleen: No kidding

John: Just an invitation or an opportunity

Kathleen: You think all guys are like that more or less?

John: Yeah. Anywhere, anytime

Kathleen: I guess that also makes sense biologically.

John: Yep, spread the seed

Kathleen: So are you jealous of a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms?

John: Not anymore. I was slightly (very slightly) jealous when I was younger, but it's just the way it is, so why be jealous?

Kathleen: Do you ever wonder what's it's like to have female parts?

John: Sure I've wondered ... if I was a girl I'd have sex with everybody, constantly.

Kathleen: Why do you say that?

John: Because sex is great.

Kathleen: But why do you think it would be so much better as a girl.

John: I'm not saying it's better. It's like this:  Women can have sex anytime they want, because guys are always up for it.  So if I was a chick, I'd take advantage of that.

Kathleen: But maybe if you were a chick you wouldn't want to have sex all the time.

John: You are a smartass.

Kathleen: I remember you used to say that if you had breasts, you'd play with them all day long.

John: Yeah - breasts are nice.

Kathleen: So I guess you'd be a lesbian?

John: No - I'd be me in a woman’s body

Kathleen: That is a little scary.

John: Hahahaha.

John: It's all hypothetical.

Kathleen: Of course.  But I still really wish we could switch bodies - just for a day. Just to see.

John: Yeah, that would be great.