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Anal Sex for Beginners

Written by Nikki Daly

Monday, 04 June 2007

The first time my boyfriend asked me to use a vibrator to penetrate him, I was confused and even a little grossed out. Was he trying to tell me something? Was he going to get really kinky on me? Was it going to be messy? Was he gay? Not, as Seinfeld would say, that there’s anything wrong with that. But a woman needs to know these things about the man she shares her bed and body with. I didn’t let on. I always wanted to be thought of as a fearless woman full of enthusiasm for any new thing her partner wanted to try, the kind of adventurous lover men brag to their friends about. Judging from the number of his friends who flirted with me when he wasn’t around, I had achieved the reputation I was after, and I didn’t want to give it up over a single request that left me a little squeamish.

Fortunately, my boyfriend, a med school student, gave me a quick lesson in anatomy that made all the difference. After the first couple of inches, the rectum takes a sharp turn toward the front of the body, sometimes as much as 90 degrees. So a vibrator or dildo that passes into that cavity is directed straight to the base of his prostate gland – his g-spot. No wonder he got so hard so fast!

I have to admit I enjoyed teasing him a bit and setting the pace as I penetrated him with a well-lubed vibrator. Then we got more adventuresome and experimented with a larger vibrator and a realistic dildo. I must’ve contributed greatly to some of his homosexual fantasies, and that’s just fine by me.

It wasn’t messy as I had feared (I learned that feces aren’t in the anal opening until just before a bowel movement). Over the next few weeks, we bought a few more toys, which we were careful not to “double dip,” meaning put a vibrator that had been in his anal opening in my vagina. Again, that med school education came in handy; my boyfriend knew not to mix his bacteria in my Petri dish! So I avoided getting any nasty infections while solidifying my best-lover-ever status.

Finally, I decided to try some anal action myself. I was a little bit apprehensive and wanted to take it slow. First, using copious amounts of lube, my boyfriend used a small vibrator to penetrate me. Pressing down gently and repeatedly against the sphincter muscle helped lessen my initial resistance, and his fingers on my clitoris quickly got me over any nervousness.

After I got used to the size of the toys, we tried the real deal. I don’t know if it was the sensation of it, or just the “naughtiness,” but anal sex was surprisingly fun. And happily, while my boyfriend liked the tight fit and came fairly quickly, it never became the substitute for vaginal sex that I’d feared in the beginning. It just became another option on the menu. A little anonymous sleuthing on the Internet turned up a reassuring statistic, I’m not alone. About a quarter of all women practice anal sex (or at least admit they do).

My boyfriend and I aren’t together anymore, but I’m grateful to have had such an uninhibited lover in my past. His motto is one I adopted as my own. “The only unnatural sex act is one that can’t physically be performed.”

Nikki Daly
		About the author:
		Nikki Daly is a former newspaper reporter and magazine editor with more than 40 local, state and national awards for her articles and columns. A bit of a moving target, she began her career as a sports reporter, moved on to news and was editor of her hometown’s Charleston Magazine by the time she was 27. She loves travel and has written chapters on her favorite places for various guidebooks. Favorite trips have included Kenya, Africa, France, Ireland and Scotland. Her freelancing leaves her footloose and fancy free, which is just the way she likes it. Nikki has been working on several marketing projects for clients recently and as a translator/editor. Her latest translation was a French novel about the Belgian Congo. Nikki is single and dating.

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