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I’m not proud to admit this: I have a temper. So does my husband. So when we have an argument, it tends to escalate into some not-so-nice statements thrown at each other. Then, if it gets ugly enough, there are several days of not talking to each other in order to let our tempers cool. And then finally, I go to him, barely able to look him in the face, but wanting to end the wretchedness already. And we miserably talk it out and eventually get over it.

I’m not proud to admit this: I have a temper. So does my husband. So when we have an argument, it tends to escalate into some not-so-nice statements thrown at each other. Then, if it gets ugly enough, there are several days of not talking to each other in order to let our tempers cool. And then finally, I go to him, barely able to look him in the face, but wanting to end the wretchedness already. And we miserably talk it out and eventually get over it.

We had another blow-out last week. A few hours later, I was still angry, really angry, but the thought of going days without speaking to each other was overwhelmingly depressing. So I decided to take a different approach.

First, I tried to work past my angry feelings to get to the core of what he had said that had really set me off. There was a lot said, but could I boil it down to what had really hurt me? Aha, I had it. Oh boy, did I have it.

I took a deep breadth and sat down at my computer. I instant messaged him (Mind, he was just on the other side of the house). But I liked the idea of talking with him without having to see his resentment written all over his face. “I don’t want to fight,” I typed. “But it really made me angry when you said … It made me feel like …”

His message popped up on my computer: “But I didn’t mean that at all … I meant …”

Me: “Oh. But it hurts my feelings when …”

Him: “Sorry.”

Me: “Um, ok.”

Him: “Can we have make-up sex?”

What?! We were done fighting? That was it? Could this be possible? It took less than two minutes to resolve what should have taken hours of heated discussion. I couldn’t believe it! I bowed down to the power of Instant Messenger. And I took my husband up on his offer.