Groomin' to Get Down (for Men)

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Groomin' to Get Down (for Men)

Written by Sarah Katherine Lewis

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

Guys, as much as we love getting all prettied up for you, we love it even more when you make an effort to be sexy for us. So if you're craving hot action tonight, try a few of these handy-dandy grooming tips (and don't worry, dudes, I'm not gonna bring up chest-waxing or anything surgical).

1. Get clean. Seriously—take a long, hot shower, clip your Frito toenails, shave, and scrub your ass and ballsack with soap. Women are very sensitive to odors, and while you may pass the sniff test with your buddies, us ladies might be put off by some of your "earthier" aromas. On the same note, don't over-do cologne or aftershave—strong perfumes make our eyes water. Mostly we just want to smell you—good, clean, fresh-from-the-shower you.

2. Trim your pubes. Note that I didn't say wax—trimming is sufficient (unless you're a porn star). But the last thing we want when we're going South of the border is a mouth full of hair. And don't neglect the long straggly hairs under your sack unless you want us to stay as far away from your boys as we possibly can, and that would be a shame because most guys like a little nut-lovin' to break up the b.j. routine. (And remember, keep those balls kissin'-fresh—we're not licking anything that smells like Ranch dressing.)

3. Don a brand-new pair of boxer-briefs. Guys, I don't know what it is about them, and maybe it all started with Marky Mark, but there's nothing sexier than the way boxer-briefs cling to your—um, body. The truth is, we're just as turned on by nice underwear as you are. But don't wear a man-thong unless your woman has a fetish for Borat.

4. Remember how you trimmed your toenails? Well, clip your fingernails while you're at it, and file any rough edges. A scratchy finger-bang is no girl's idea of a good time.

5. Do some crunches. We like abs. We really, really like abs. Now light some candles (we're suckers for the vanilla-scented kind), put on some tunes, and look deeply into our eyes. Tell us we're beautiful. Tell us how much you want to be inside us. And watch us rip those boxer-briefs right off your body.

Now light some candles (we're suckers for the vanilla-scented kind), put on some tunes, and look deeply into our eyes. Tell us we're beautiful. Tell us how much you want to be inside us.

And watch us rip those boxer-briefs right off your body.

Sarah Katherine Lewis
		About the author:
		Sarah Katherine Lewis is a ten-year veteran of the adult industry, performing as a stripper, a fetish model, a dominatrix, a stage dancer, a porn star, and a "chakra-balancing spiritual body worker." Her books include "Indecent: How I Make It And Fake It As A Girl For Hire" (Seal Press, 2006) and "Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things That Are Very, Very Bad For Me" (Seal, 2008). At the present she's finishing a screenplay based on her first book and chronicling her day-to-day life at http://www.sarahkatherinelewis.com/blog/. She lives alone in Seattle, sleeps in a walk-in closet, and enjoys baking pies while rocking out to sleaze-metal.