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After six years of marriage, I felt I understood my sexuality completely. My husband Jack and I made love four or five times a week staying pretty much within conventional bounds. Straight sex was our meat and potatoes, but we were also wild about nipple play, deep kissing, and oral sex, especially in 69. Our lovemaking usually lasted about an hour.

I suppose it was the kind of sex life that a lot of women would envy, and I had no complaints except that it has stopped being special. Sex had become like supper, a regular and necessary event. I wasn’t frustrated, but part of me had begun to wish for something more, something different.

From what I knew of S/M and other “kinky” variations, I realized I didn’t want to explore those areas. But one night Jack brought home a brochure adverting “tantric sex,” and when I read it I instinctively knew that this would open the door to new discussions for us. Tantric sex is practiced in India and other parts of the East. It mixes sex with spiritual explorations. We made an appointment with Jwala, the woman who taught the course, and the next Friday evening we entered her “temple.”

She was a dark, full bodied Indian woman with lustrous eyes, and she began our lesson by telling us that the first thing we had to get rid of was the sense of time. In tantric sex, the most important thing is a feeling of timelessness, no rush, no limitations, no pressure.

“In this chamber,” she said, taking in the sumptuous room we were in, pillows strewn about, the walls hung with exotic tapestries, “we partake of the eternal.” She had us undress, a sexy moment in itself as I shed everything including panties and bra, and watched Jack strip down, his muscular body adorned by the long, thick penis that dangled between his thighs. It seemed like a strange kind of threesome, and I wondered if Jwala would somehow get into the act. I wouldn’t have minded; she was so beautiful that touching her was a real temptation, one that I knew Jack shared.

Instead, she sat to one side and told the two of us to sit cross-legged on the floor and gaze into each other’s eyes. “Let your breathing be deep and full,” she intoned. “Look past your bodies and into one another’s souls. It is only from that level that the physical part of sex can really be appreciated.”

She put on some dreamy music, a mixture of Eastern drum beats and flutes, and lit incense and candles. Jack and I stared at one another. I was a little self-conscious at first but then I began to see what I would have to call his spirit, the life-force from which love and sex arise. There was some hallucination as his face began to assume different forms of animals, and strange creatures I couldn’t identify.

With this, I felt my body getting hotter, my breasts growing heavy, my mound becoming moist. It was the most unusual turn-on I’d ever experienced. Slowly and subtly I started to yearn for Jack, not just for having sex, but to be merged with him, to get lost in the sensuous and slightly frightening beauty that now pulsed through his entire body.

Jwala was perfectly attuned to my feelings because she said, “Go over to him. Slowly. And don’t lose eye contact. Sit on his thighs, with your legs wrapped around his back.”

Jack and I had never made love like that, and I wondered if we could when I glanced down and saw that his penis was stiff, curving up, and throbbing. It was odd seeing him so excited and calm at the same time, and feeling the same myself.

I put my hands on his shoulders and gently lowered myself onto his erection. The minute he was in me, I exploded and started to move. “No,” Jwala whispered, “be still. Don’t do, just be.”

That was probably the most difficult direction I’d ever received in my life. I was incredibly hot, from the hour of sharing vibrations with Jack, from the feel of his magnificent manhood filling me up and from having a third person watch us. I took half a dozen very deep breaths and was able to keep myself still.

After a few minutes, I understood what it was about. For me sex had always involved a mounting excitement, going from my depths to the surface, ending in climax. Now the energy moved in the opposite direction, going inward, becoming rich and heavy. I was a vessel being filled with bliss.

I gazed into Jack’s eyes and there I could see not only his strength and passion, but my own sweet surrender reflected back to me. In that instant, the distinctions between us disappeared and we were like one person, wrapped in ecstasy, melting with pleasure.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that, me impaled on Jack’s erection, my breasts pressed lightly against his chest, our breath full and slow, each inhalation making me tingle with sensual delight, each exhalation a swoon into fulfilled desire. And through it all, we swam in one another’s eyes, getting lost in the mystery of the moment, forgetting the familiarity of our everyday selves.

I think I was feeling like I was on Pluto when Jwala said, “Now disengage and lie on your sides, in a sixty-nine position.” We followed her instructions and I found my face a few inches from Jack’s now glistening erection. I wanted nothing more than to slide that slick veined member into my mouth, and I knew that Jack was looking at me just as hungrily. But again Jwala told us not to move, just to look and feel and be.

It was then that I started to get the hang of what she was telling us, which was not to rush in on the first wave of attraction, but to let the attraction build, to go through various cycles, to ripen. As we lay there, I experienced every kind of feeling, from unbearable need to suck Jack’s cock to a kind of erotic dreaminess in which no physical contact was needed.

When Jwala finally told us we could now touch each other, I had no excitement left, only a pure openness, a quiet hunger to be filled. The shaft slid easily between my lips, over my tongue and down my throat. Without trying, I swallowed him entirely, my lips coming to rest in his pubic hair.
And there was nothing frantic in Jack’s touch either. His mouth simply rested lightly on my pussy in a gentle and knowing kiss. A surge of sweet rapture flushed through me.

“Again,” Jwala whispered, “Don’t move. Just get into the feeling.” And so we lay like that, Jack’s cock hard and hot filling my mouth, and his tongue, intimate and wise, a constant intrusion into my secret center.

It was heaven. No movement, no stress, no anxiety, no performance. Only the delicious closeness, the tender embrace, and the still, silent worship of mouths and genitals. It made all our previous lovemaking seem a little frenzied, somewhat mindless.
After what seemed an eternity Jwala said, “In advanced classes, I’d have the two of you part now and just lie side by side holding hands, letting the energy you’ve aroused circulate between you until you were completely refreshed and relaxed and ready to leave. But I’m afraid that might leave you frustrated in this early stage of training, so I’m going to leave the room for a while and let you bring yourselves to orgasm.”

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