Is Sex a Predictor of Marital Happiness?

Written by Rachel Carver

Monday, 04 June 2007

“What’s the key to a happy marriage?” a She magazine reporter once asked Kate Beckinsale. The glamorous Hollywood actress, wife of director Len Wiseman, answered with the three little words men long to hear: “lots of sex.”

After revealing that she and her husband have a passionate relationship, Beckinsale added, "I'm very blessed to have a husband who appreciates me.”

It was simple, but profound. In other words, a woman who feels good about herself and the man who makes her feel that way is likely to act on those feelings.

Does good sex make a happy marriage? Or, does a happy marriage make for good sex? No one seems to be sure which came first, but the two go hand in hand, and the benefits one provides the other are undeniable.

Feel Younger, Look Better, Live Longer

Sex is exercise. Not surprisingly, it conveys many of the same benefits as a regular run or gym routine, according to Hugh O'Neill, editor of Men's Health magazine. It burns calories, lowers cholesterol levels and tones muscle.

Sex releases endorphins, the same brain chemicals that diminish pain and produce feelings of wellbeing or “a runner’s high.” But, ask yourself, would you rather run 75 miles or have sex three times a week for a year? Both activities burn the same 7,500 calories.

An active sex life may help you live longer. Studies show that men who have sex at least three times each week may have a decreased risk of developing prostate cancer and some heart ailments.

Sex has also been shown to turn back the clock. David Weeks, a clinical neuropsychologist at Scotland's Royal Edinburgh Hospital, conducted a study of 3,500 people ages 18 to 102. His results indicate that sex actually slows the aging process.

But not just any sex. Married sex. Sex in a long, loving and intimate relationship.

Feeling secure is part of the intimacy of sex that makes people feel happier and look younger. Paul Pearsall, author of Superimmunity, says good sex boosts the immune system by increasing the flow of certain chemicals in the body. In addition to endorphins for both sexes, in women, sex triggers the release of oxytocin, a chemical that promotes feelings of affection and triggers the nurturing instinct. In men, it encourages the flow of testosterone, which strengthens bones and muscle.

Thus, people who feel better, look better.

Live Longer

Married people live longer, have better and more frequent sex, are happier and end up with more money in the bank. Those are the findings of Linda Waite, a sociologist at the University of Chicago, who believes a good marriage is the key to physical and emotional well-being.

Waite has conducted numerous studies, including one on mortality and marriage. Her findings reveal that individuals who divorced and stayed unmarried increased their chances of dying, while those who tied the knot again lived longer.

Other studies on sexual activity, health, wealth and career status indicate that married people are happier with their sex lives. "We think married people have the boring, predictable sex and single people have the passion," Waite says. "But married people report more physical and emotional satisfaction."

And, by the way, they’re having more sex than teens.

Married people are also better off financially. "Couples over 50 have assets of roughly $64 000 per person," Waite says. "The worst off are separated people, who tend to have assets of about $7 000." People 50 and older who never married, average $40 000 in assets.

Women who choose a career over marriage make more money, but they have less to show for it, Waite says. “Marriage encourages you to save and accumulate. You put away money for college tuition and for your own retirement."

Sex energizes a marriage, according to Barry McCarthy, a clinical psychologist at American University in Washington, D.C., and a certified sex therapist. While some couples who have sex rarely or not at all can still have a satisfactory relationship, they are a minority. Sexual intercourse and other forms of touching are an essential part of a healthy marriage.

Ahead of His Time
More than 100 years ago, Russian philosopher Leo Nikolaevich Tolstoy, said that sex:

Lowers mortality rates
Improves posture
Boosts self esteem
Makes a person feel younger
Firms tummy and buttocks
Keeps spouses connected emotionally
Gives people a positive attitude
Has a calming effect
Improves fitness
Makes a person less irritable
Reduces depression
Improves sense of smell
Has a therapeutic effect on immune system
Improves bladder control
Relieves menstrual cramps
Helps people sleep better
Improves digestion
Makes teeth healthier
Helps folks remember more
Produces chemicals in the brain to stimulate the growth of new dendrites
Lowers the level of cortisol, a hormone that can trigger fatigue and cravings
Lessens feelings of insecurity
Increases level of commitment
Prevents frequent colds and flu

Rachel Carver
		About the author:
		Rachel Carver is the managing editor of an international journal. She has been a writer and editor for more than 30 years. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including SUCCESS Magazine, the New York Times and the Christian Science Monitor. She has written profiles and white papers for celebrities including Warren Buffet, Tiger Woods and President Gerald R. Ford, and edited short stories and books for authors and publishing houses. Far too busy to marry and settle down, Rachel did find the time to adopt a daughter from China four years ago. Her hobbies include wood working and geneology.

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