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Home arrow Romance arrow Burning Off Calories in Bed
Burning Off Calories in Bed Print E-mail
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Written by Rachel Carver   
Tuesday, 12 June 2007

Sex as exercise is a topic that floods online forums and chat rooms. And for good reason. Sex is exercise. It does burn calories. And, all the usual calorie-burning factors—your weight, the level of energy you put into the activity and how long you go at it—still apply. So, how many pounds you can shed while shagging is up to you. We do have a few suggestions that may help. Below you will find our calories-burned counter. Turn to it whenever you need to lose a couple of love handles, tone a flabby tummy or firm up a drooping tookus.

Anyone have any idea how many calories an hour vigorous sex burns? I'm a woman and I'm usually on top thrusting away like crazy until I'm sweating a lot. Wouldn't it be funny if I lost a whole bunch of weight?
– Dreaming

I was thinner when I had more sex. I blame my husband's decreased libido for my additional 10 pounds. Bastard.
– Pooky

Man, I don't know how many calories you burn, but I lost a lot of weight having sex on a regular basis, toned my stomach and added curves to my butt. I'm creating a new diet and exercise plan. Jenny Craig watch out!
– EternallyConfused
   
I only started having sex with my boyfriend a month and a half ago. Already, I've lost like 4 pounds. I can’t believe I made him wait 10 months before we finally did it. What was I thinking?
– Honey

Sigh … I need more sex. I'm tired of not eating.
– Me

Intercourse Calories Burned in 10 Minutes
   
Positions:  
Missionary 20
Missionary, while in traction/ useful during ski season 124
Standing, man 1 foot taller than woman 18
Standing, woman 1 foot taller than man 90
   
Locations:  
On a bar stool 20
Rear of a Honda Civic 38
In a phone booth, standing 14
In a phone booth, lying down 274
On an airliner, aisle seat 24
On an airliner, window seat 30
On an airliner, middle seat (finally a benefit) 42
On an airliner, in the lavatory 100
   
Unintended Extras: Per Incident:
Bouncing 7
Sliding 9
Skidding 12
Full cartwheel 20
Whiplash 27
   
Fears:  
Cellulite that shakes and ripples 6
Stretch marks that look like a plowed field 10
Forgot to brush teeth 15
Didn’t shave legs 20
My penis is too big 1
My penis is too small 72
   
Sex Noises:  
Short gasps 3
Squeals 5
Squishing 8
Moaning 11
Growling 15
Screaming 18
Commands (Don't stop, Faster, More) 20
Urgent begging 25
   
Approaching Orgasm:  
Digging nails into partner's back 11
Trembling 15
Shaking 20
Shuddering 25
Trying to keep eyes open 33
Letting go 5.5
Waiting for partner to finish first 79
   
Orgasm:  
Real 27
Fake 160
   
Intensity of Orgasm:  
Expression didn't change 0.05
Face turned red 15
Sheets began smoking 25
Earth moved 35
Spontaneous moaning 45
Spontaneous moaning in Latin (and, you don’t speak Latin) 60
   
Pulling Out:  
After orgasm 0.025
Seconds before orgasm 500
   
Side Effects of Bad Sex:  
Frustration 8
Anger 10
Cursing 15
Apologizing 8
Begging for another chance 15
Suppressing rage 25
Not suppressing rage 65
   
Side Effects of Good Sex:  
Swooning 6
Shortness of breath 5
Heart palpitations 10
Perspiring 15
Sweating like a pig 25
   
After Sex:  
Un-entwining 3
Standing up 9
Getting something to eat or drink 11
Avoiding the wet spot 80
   
Trying Again:  
If the woman is ready 5
If the man is not 156
   
Group Sex:  
Introducing yourself 3
Overcoming shyness 8
Swapping partners, willingly 4
Swapping partners, unwillingly 62
Jealousy (partner having more fun) 16
Being nice to everyone 100
Sending thank-you notes to everyone 250
   
Masturbation:  
Using your hand 11
With an inflatable doll 24
Using any fruit or vegetable 19
Using a vibrator 25
During a porn film:  
– purchasing the ticket 2.5
– finding isolated seat 78
– adjusting raincoat 3

There are a lot of good reasons to have sex. Exercise is only one of them. But, if I can burn the same 250 calories jogging in the sweltering summer sun as I can getting it on in the air-conditioned cool of my bedroom, guess where I’ll be?


Rachel Carver
About the author:
Rachel Carver is the managing editor of an international journal. She has been a writer and editor for more than 30 years. Her work has appeared in numerous publications including SUCCESS Magazine, the New York Times and the Christian Science Monitor. She has written profiles and white papers for celebrities including Warren Buffet, Tiger Woods and President Gerald R. Ford, and edited short stories and books for authors and publishing houses. Far too busy to marry and settle down, Rachel did find the time to adopt a daughter from China four years ago. Her hobbies include wood working and geneology.




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