


Sex for the Disabled
Amazing Sex for the Disabled
| Amazing Sex for the Disabled |
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| Written by Rachel Carver | |
| Sunday, 29 July 2007 | |
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Shortly after actor-director Christopher Reeve was paralyzed in an equestrian accident, his wife, Dana, revealed in a televised interview that the couple still had sex. A stunned interviewer stammered out, “How?” "People with spinal cord injury are often portrayed in movies as sexually frustrated men and women who either have to rely on buying sex from a prostitute or have to go without," says Mitchell Tepper, president of the Sexual Health Network and a victim of spinal cord injury. It turns out nothing could be farther from the truth. Intercourse and Orgasms Here’s a startling bit of science for starters. Some sensations of pleasure bypass the spinal column to register directly in the brain. In one study, 16 paraplegic women were compared with five women who had no spinal cord injury. Each used the same device to stimulate themselves in vaginal and cervical areas as well as in other parts of their bodies. "Only one of the non-spinal-cord-injury women had an orgasm, while three of the women with [spinal cord injury] had an orgasm in the laboratory," according to Beverly Whipple, Ph.D, RN. One of the latter women had six orgasms during the experiment and this was her first sexual stimulation in the two years since her injury. The phrase “no feeling below the waist,” applied to paraplegics, isn’t wholly accurate, Whipple says. A nerve bundle called the sensory vagus bypasses the spinal cord, carrying nerve impulses directly from the genitals to the brain. So even if the spinal cord is damaged, pleasure messages can still be transmitted during foreplay and intercourse. Outercourse and Tantric Sex Some people with disabilities, particularly those with limited sensation in their genitals and traditional erogenous zones, may want to explore other means of erotic pleasure that don’t involve the genitals, Whipple says. "Sensuality and sexuality are much more than the genitals." She defines “outercourse” as methods of erotic pleasure that don’t involve penetration. These can be as simple as giving and receiving touches to the cheeks, neck or hands or using scented candles or music to set the mood. Even if a disabled person can’t experience a "traditional" orgasm, that doesn't mean his or her sex life is over, Tepper says. "Acceptance means letting go of all your old notions, like 'sex equals intercourse.' Comparison is something that really kills people in moving forward." He advises people with disabilities to consider tantric approaches to sex. In this eastern model, penetration is not the goal of a sexual encounter. The focus, instead, is on devoting time and space to demonstrate to a partner that he or she is valued, loved and safe in your care. The orgasm doesn’t matter, the lovemaking does. | |
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Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions. |